By Randy Nabors, (the imperfect husband)
1.
Sometime in the relationship you have to choose
to love the person they are, and accept the idea that they don’t have to be
(maybe will never be, maybe should never be) the person you want them to
become.
2.
Sometime in the
relationship you should finally want and try to be the person they hoped you
would be. The speed in the pursuit of
this desire should be in direct proportion to their concept of the ideal you which
matches conformity to Christ.
3.
Hopefully, soon
in the relationship (and for the rest of your life,) you should begin to attack
your own essential selfishness and carry your own part of the load, and some of
theirs.
4.
If, or when there
comes a time in your relationship when everything has become routine and there is
no spark or joy in your daily interaction, you should refuse to settle for the
status-quo and take some practical steps to re-connect and re-ignite
emotionally. Take action on this
quickly, and reject the tendency toward emotional laziness.
5.
Hopefully,
sometime soon in your relationship (and for the rest of your life) you should care
about the spiritual health of your spouse, and pray for them. Seek to listen to them with spiritual
discernment and compassion. The primary verb here is to “listen” and not to
correct, fix, preach, or criticize.
6.
If you love them
you will pray, work toward, and plan how to give them some spiritual support,
without condemnation, manipulation, condescension, or ultimatums. Here, make a practical list right now:
7.
If you love them
you will think about the ratio of what encouragements, thank-you-s, and
compliments you give compared to the amount of criticism or silence you
share. Make sure the silence you share
is the message you mean to give.
8.
Being nice,
polite, and kind is its own kind of romance.
9.
Keep flirting
(with your spouse) and be funny. Write
your own memoir on “how not to be boring!”
10. Get over being resentful when your spouse tries to
help you or compensates for your obvious weaknesses.
11. Count the number of “no’s” you keep giving to their
ideas, plans, or desires and ask yourself if that is the signal you want to
send about your love and care for them. Work
on generously pleasing your spouse.
12. Every once in a while, just for the love of them, do
something for them (and I emphasize here for
them) that they aren’t expecting (especially when they aren’t expecting it)
that you are pretty sure they will like.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas is obligatory so go beyond the
norm. Don’t be “norm,” unless you are.
END.
No comments:
Post a Comment