GOOD MAKES A DIFFERENCE

    I really like good people, I really want good government, I enjoy good ideas and wish I could think of some.  What brought this on was being invited the other day to our Mayor's "prayer breakfast" with some our city's  pastors.  Our Mayor is Jewish, most of the pastors in attendance were African American, two Rabbis, and a couple of us white Protestants. 
    Now I have been invited by politicians before, to hear about faith based initiatives, community problems etc.  Most  politicians don't listen in large meetings, they usually deliver their strategy as a way of engaging community leaders and I imagine they hope to get political backing for their ideas.  I was therefore wary of getting my hopes up of having a real discussion about things.  We did have some time for input, some questions were asked and some input was given.  I was still glad it was happening.
   I am encouraged by our new Mayor.  Most of all I am excited because he has hired some good people.  Now, I imagine previous mayors have hired good people before, it is just that I didn't know too many of them or much about them.  This mayor seems to be on a deliberate campaign to hire exceptionally smart and talented people, with a record of good performance, and many happen to be Evangelical Christians and several were members of my own congregation.  I am also encouraged because I think this mayor is seeking good ideas, and at least at the start is attempting to establish good government.  He believes, as I do, that good government can make a positive difference, and he also believes that it should be done as economically constrained as possible.  I liked it when he referred to the rate of taxation as a "burden." 
    A city is blessed when it has good leaders, and not just the man at the top, but the team of people they recruit to administrate, lead, and execute what we all hope is a good agenda and philosophy of government.  Good people aren't just talented people, Lord knows we have enough of them in prison, and some we wish were in prison.  When I refer to the Mayor hiring "good people" I mean that they are talented, but they are also people of good character, and they are people of good will.  These folk intend to do good, and they intend to be good while they are doing it, and they intend to do things in a good way.  Being nice while doing good doesn't hurt either.  The phrase, "nice guys finish last" is a quote from the cynical who think being nice is a synonym for being a chump and a sucker.  Actually most of the successful people I know happen to be nice, and maybe that has something to do with their success. 
    Every city has problems, and every level of government has perplexing challenges.  While confronting those challenges, every political leader is surrounded by the electorate, who serve as critics, complainers, condemners, cheer leaders, influencers, beggars, demanders, etc. depending on the issue and their mood at the moment. I think it is important for us to pray and hope for every leaders success, even if we don't agree with all their policies and agendas.  We might dislike, even oppose, certain policies according to our conscience and I think that is fair.  However, to hope for the failure of a government or a leader I think is not only Biblically disobedient but also stupid.  It is stupid because it is self-destructive.  If one party says, "our only agenda is the defeat of this leader in the next election" then I think they have forfeited the right to serve in government, they should never be re-elected.  Not that I don't think there should be a loyal opposition, nor do I think there aren't some incumbents we would wish out of office from time to time.  That is different from not trying to make the best deal out of what elected leaders give us or propose, while we resist those ideas which are unjust, evil, bad, or dumb.  If they succeed in anything that is good then that success belongs to all of us.  If we see their success in anything as simply an endorsement of their party or candidate then I think we fail to see the nature of our cooperative society, and we are simply saboteurs.  In this case folks have put party over country.
    So, I have some ideas to offer, and maybe you have some you could add, and I hope they are good.  Ideas usually have to be discussed, and shaped and criticized, before they can be implemented.  I certainly hope the things I mentioned can be improved upon.
1.  We need a public, private, and faith based partnership strategy for summer youth employment.  We need the city to identify work that needs to be done that would improve our city, then we need to recruit teens and young adults, put them into teams with a mentor/foreman, give them the training and tools that need to be done, and pay them even the minimum wage.  If the city has any funds for these improvements that can go into the employment fund, more funds should be solicited from corporate and private donors, and faith based organizations (even churches) can supply mentor/foreman support for the work teams.
a.  Railroad right of ways that are no longer used can be trimmed and made into public use trails and jogging paths.
b.  Widows and elderly who need summer yard care or house painting, or even house cleaning.
c.  Local forest clearing and trail restoration and improvement.
d.  Landscaping and beautification of intersections and public spaces.
e.  Tuck pointing for the elderly (on their brick home, not their bodies) or public buildings.
f.  City and downtown hosts who welcome tourists and hand out information.
2.  We need a public, private, and faith based partnership for charter schools.  Whereby public money can be used, supplemented with private funds, and chapel and religious courses can be held prior to school day and classes taught by teachers paid by public funds:
a.  Action Academy where everything is built on activity.
b.  Physical participation required in hiking and knowing all our trails.
c.  Knowing the names of all trees and fauna (Latin names included), all the birds, all the animals.
d.  Knowing how to swim or drown proof.
e.  Knowing how to camp, wilderness survival, orienteering.
f.  Knowing tools, automotive, aeronautics, .
g.  All activities with a math and reading component.
h.  Gender segregated, at least in middle school.
3.  Public, private, faith based partnership in creating environmentally friendly church properties.  With some of the largest roofs and parking lots these spaces are heat generators and potential energy makers.  Most churches can't afford to make solar panels for their roofs, but could be leveraged into it with some outside financial help.  Better pavements for parking lots that are less heat generating.  Energy generation can be sold back to the city or Electric Power Board.  More water run off planning for church parking lots would be helpful.  Separation of church and state is fine, but can't we do some things together that are mutually helpful since we all breathe the same air and collectively use up our resources?
4.  Comprehensive effort to help every teen age mom learn to read to her children.  Reading mentors can be hired, children's books can be purchased and distributed.  The first three years of the child's life are crucial for later learning.  The whole city needs to deal with this as this will affect our schools over the lifetime of that child's education.
   Well, that's a few.  Give us some more.

How Would You Feel If This Always Happened To You?

This last June I was at the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church in America.  I was there with the Reverends, the divines, the pastors, those who wear the collar, the clergy.  I prolong this so you will get the point that these are men of the cloth who, believe it or not, are usually pretty good men.
The overwhelming majority of these men will not go to jail, will stay married to one wife, will be moral pillars of their communities, and most of their children will grow up to respect and honor them.  Do the research, check the statistics, it is real.  These men are educated, they are hard working (for the most part), and they actually do earn the respect to which their office might entitle them.
    Even as I write that I amazed that such a group still exists.  However, that is not what this blog is about.  It is about the fact that one of those men, another good man who earns respect everyday in how he lives and treats people, is a black man.  Not the only black man in their midst, but his color is relevant to my discussion here, and he is my friend.  Being my friend he shared with me what happened to him on the way to General Assembly in South Carolina.
    This, my African American pastor friend, had for many years been an over the road truck driver. I think for about fifteen years.   He knows how to drive, knows how to stay within the law.  He is also fairly large and strong looking.  I imagine if he was angry he would be pretty intimidating.  My friend rented a car, it turned out to be bright red, to make the trip down South from his home five states up.  As he went through one of the Carolinas he was pulled over by a police officer.  The officer asked to see his driver's license and my friend asked the officer, "why did you pull me over?"  "You were speeding, " was the reply.  My friend assured me he was not speeding.  "Where are you going" the officer asked.  When told he was on a way to gathering of pastors he was asked what he did for a living.  Things changed at this point as the officer asked my pastor friend to come back to his car where he asked him about how you could know if you are called to the ministry, since he was struggling with the idea.
    The officer warned my friend to be careful because about an hour down the road there was a speed trap.  Sure enough in an hour or so my friend was pulled over again, while driving within the speed limit which he was watching closely.  Again the questions were asked, and seeing a Bible on my friends front seat the conversation shifted.  In neither case did my friend receive a ticket.
    My friend is a Christian, in fact is one of the most positive, loving, and personally engaging people I know.  Those officers had put my friend and themselves in a dangerous situation, as all traffic stops can be due to traffic and due to the potential misunderstanding and possible conflict arising from such interactions.  My only conclusion is that they stopped him because he is a black man, driving a nice bright car.  This is called profiling.   There was no probable cause, this was not a road block random check point.  My friend was black, and the white officers thought they might in fact find something wrong.  Instead they found a good man, but they had still created a circumstance that might not have come to a good ending.  What if my friend had finally be irritated enough to say something antagonistic?  What if the officer(s) wanted to prove something that day, or reacted with fear?
    My friend was indeed irritated, but he knows how to forgive, he has the power of Jesus to love, and he was wise enough to be polite and respectful to authority figures without losing his self respect.  Not everyone has those strengths.  Every time authority figures profile a  person of color and put them in a position where they feel threatened, afraid, and demeaned it creates the potential for conflict, violence, and certainly anger.      We are a nation of laws, we believe in authority, we usually give the benefit of the doubt to those who wear a badge.  We expect them to be trained, wise and judicious in how they handle the use of force to control, arrest, or of if necessary, kill people.  Unfortunately we have had examples where this power invested in them has been unwisely used, or used in direct contradiction to their training and purpose.  The more confrontations the more opportunities for things to go down wrong.  One incident is too many of course, especially if someone ends up dead or needlessly in prison, and the racial reverberations set us back as as a nation, again.
    Race is a factor in these interactions.  Even good men have bad days, and this is as true for police officers as it is for pastors.  What we prejudge others to be can certainly color the way we treat them.  Certainly not everyone stopped is a good person, certainly some we suspect of wrong doing are actually up to no good, there is evil in the world.  What we don''t need is to bring any more to it by assuming authority we don't have, putting people in a situation where they feel threatened and demeaned, being surprised when they react with anger, and using deadly force when we haven't been sufficiently trained in its use.

GETTING PRACTICAL IN OUR REACTIONS TO GAY MARRIAGE

   Some folks have asked that I make some practical suggestions of how to respond to the recent Supreme Court decisions.  I will offer some ideas, and I hope others will put their minds and energy to this so that we can make some positive impact on our nation.   Obviously I am a Christian, and though like all Christians I am a compromised individual (in that I have my own sins and struggle with them constantly).  I also have a moral framework arising from my commitment to the Scriptures (the Bible) as the revelation of God's will.
     For those who have accepted a non-supernatural presupposition, and therefore cannot accept miracles as a historical fact, you will find such a stand to be non-intellectual and one that might sound crazy.  This is obviously an objection that believers have heard for a couple of thousand years and we understand it, and when you come to faith then it won't be a problem for you anymore if you are in that "unbelieving" category at present. It is interesting how many have been there before you, and when God chose to reveal his son in them, how radically did their views change.  We submit this is not an intellectual issue, Christians have no shortage of smart and educated folks in their ranks, and we listen and think through legitimate intellectual questions.  It is just that we have a presupposition of belief, and that changes everything.
    So, if God has spoken we have no choice but to believe and obey, and build our social-moral fabric from his Truth.  For the Bible believing adherent the issue of homosexuality is a moral one, not a justice issue.  There is an issue of justice in the sense of protecting even sinful folks from the loss of inherent dignity, and protection from attack and abuse.  This is not the same as a recognition of a new identity, such a race or ethnicity, based on sexual orientation.  A moral objection to homosexuality as a practice prevents us from thinking of it a legitimate form of loving.  Not that homosexual lovers don't experience intimate love and friendship with their partners, and of course that complicates the dilemma.  Such love is not the same from God's perspective (again from one who accepts the Bible as Truth and that which should determine our ethics and morality) of a moral love or commitment for marriage.  Love is an emotion in many immoral relationships, and because it is love in the wrong place it creates lots of wrong thinking.
    Some might object that I want Christian morals to be law in our country.  Of course I do, and why shouldn't I want the best for our nation?  Separation of Church and State has nothing to do with my freedom to want the best morality, the best system of ethics and laws to guide our nation.  When Justice Kennedy was examined prior to being confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice he said he would never allow his religion to have a role in making his decisions.  I didn't understand at the time why one would have a religion that didn't inform his understanding of truth, morality, or justice.  His inadequate self-understanding has now hurt our nation.
   I want to help create a consensus of Americans that understands that our Constitution is built on a moral framework. Without that understanding and commitment by us as a nation the document is not worth very much, because it won't be long until it is changed radically.  The only reason it was positively changed in regard to slavery and voting rights was to due to a moral consensus in this nation that was built on a Biblical idea of human worth, equality, and dignity.  The changes that are being introduced now are not by way of consensus, and nor are they derived from any set of absolutes.  This is dangerous territory and those who are simply celebrating individual choices in love making as harmless have no idea what they have set loose.
    My previous article was really to Christians, and especially to those who abdicate any responsibility they have as citizens by assuming they can just love their neighbors, preach the Gospel, and live for the eternal kingdom to come.  We are criticized harshly by unbelievers for daring to "impose"  our beliefs upon them, but this is exactly what they have done to us in the face of every previous culture of mankind through the ages, and they wish to shut our mouths.  I certainly believe in preaching the Gospel and loving my neighbor, I can only hope those believers who will say and do nothing over our present moral challenge will be very effective evangelists, and not assume their gentle silence will be taken as anything but acquiescence.
IDEAS:
1.  Speak with your children, and I mean get into some deep discussions, about the understanding of how freedom to make individual choices is not the sum total of freedom for ones life or country.  Start when they are pre-teens.  This current generation of high school and college students have hardly any ability to think critically to determine a difference between the liberty for self-indulgence and that which truly preserves liberty.
2.  Vote against and vote for in the area of gay rights and homosexual marriage.  Financially support those state legislators who hold to a moral agenda as this is the area to which the gay rights folks have invested millions of dollars.
3.  Push for an amendment to the constitution that defines that marriage is between a man and woman.  (I think the whole idea that we are now reduced to this is annoying beyond belief).
4.  Read about this issue, write about it, start getting angry (without rancor or personal attack) about this issue.  If you are able, learn to discuss it with some intelligence.  Start writing those letters to your government representatives.
5.  Love our opponents but make sure they know we are opponents.  Stay away from any mean spirited or personal attacks on anybody.
6.  Don't attempt to compromise your congregation by making it a political entity or movement, this should be a sweeping movement of the people.  Let the church as an organization do what it is supposed to do, preach the Gospel, and to love, minister, and heal people in their need.  Find those political organizations that will carry the banner for this fight and support them.
7.  Don't panic and don't believe every hysterical article or Facebook post that you read, and don't readily repeat them.  Don't fail to show respect to those in political office, no matter how you despise their stand and their decisions.  Fight ideas, not people.
8. Pray, and then pray some more.
9.  Don't lose hope, even it feels like we are losing.  If necessary use the courts if your rights are infringed, but put your trust only in God who will certainly vindicate his own justice. 

Henny Penny and Seismic Indicators

    Is the sky falling, or have the foundations shifted?  Maybe both but one's perspective determines whether the problem descends from the sky or erupts from the earth.  To those who believe that America is a Christian nation or once was,  the decisions of the Supreme court plus the stand of the President, the triumphalism of Liberalism, and the  seeming avalanche of culture with it's media suggested inevitability is galling, threatening, horrifying, and enraging.  To these folk the judgment of God has either already begun, or will come soon.
    To those who want somehow to be a  Christian witness of the Gospel, with compassion for those in homosexual angst and desire, who believe that Christians are and ought to be a witnessing minority in a world of wickedness (and that without being judgmental or condemning), and that somehow those fundamentalists who are nearly apoplectic represent a terrible witness to the Gospel, are urging a calm, cool, and dispassionate response.
    Though I have some sympathy in both directions I don't think we can or should settle for either option..  Of course there are others who claim to be believers who actually celebrate the Court's decision as an expression of justice and see no issue with allowing homosexuals to enjoy the legal privileges of marriage like everyone else.  Paint me homophobic, since I despise such an opinion.
    Those who hide in pietistic Gospel-speak, while certainly seeming sincere in their desire to be a loving and faithful witness in the midst of a fallen world seem to express no active theology of justice, politics, government, or culture.  One wonders how much of the island needs to be swept out to sea before somebody starts taking erosion seriously.  
    This mild reaction to worse and worse decisions by government, presidents, and the courts seems to imply that it doesn't matter if a nation endorses wickedness, applauds immorality, and allows injustice.  Maybe this is not your "injustice de jure."  I am an American, and though for me it was an accident of Providence (if there can be such a thing), I take my heritage seriously.  I like to consider myself a patriot (IRS leave me alone), but I am not a typical conservative.  I have lived my life for justice, for the poor, for the civil rights of African Americans.  I am inter-racially married.  Along the sojourn of my American experience I came to believe that freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and the right to life,  were things we could and should never surrender, and we should pay with our lives if necessary to defend those freedoms.
    Yet, we seem to give our freedoms away now, incrementally, little by little.  While this is happening my Christian brothers and sisters either seem to be terrified or telling me nothing is wrong.  I find both in error, with one side acting as if they have no faith, while the other opinion is unbelievable in its naivete.  I don't ever think panic, fear, hatred, slander, rumor mongering, and lying are acceptable means of disagreeing with our cultural opponents.  I have seen this in some who might call themselves conservative Christians.  The believer should fear God, period.  God is mighty, He will win, and nothing the Devil, all demons, or the wicked can do will change that.  Whatever happens, we must always be hopeful in the love and victory of God.
    However, this doesn't mean the believer shouldn't be angry and realize there is something to hate.  One cannot be righteous without hating evil, and there is plenty of evil to hate.  It seems a lot of my gentle Christian friends find it easier to hate other Christians who embarrass them with their vitriolic demonstrations than the increasing spread of darkness and evil.  We should never hate people, even those whose very clothes we should hesitate to touch.  I think that if you are not bothered by  this development there is something wrong with you, and if you think that the effects of the SCOTUS opinion will not roll downhill speedily, and all of over our freedoms, well just you wait.
    Yes, there has always been evil in the world since mankind introduced it. No, I don't believe evil is always present to the same degree.  Yes, I do believe it grows and I do believe there are times in history when it has been beaten back and freedom and justice have prevailed.  Righteousness does exalt a nation, and sin is a reproach to any people and that fluctuates in history. The court did not force my state to recognize same sex marriage, yet, but it should never have allowed it to be recognized anywhere.  It is not a question of equality before the law but one in which  immorality is forced upon us as the new normal, and those who say it should not are labeled in a pejorative way by the majority of the justices in their official verdict.  What is next?  What political  pursuit will there be against those states who have taken a stand, against those churches, groups, and  individuals who resist this insidious perversion?
   You who tell me not to worry, what will I be able to do for you as your freedoms disappear, as your voice is stilled in the future since you refuse to use it now?  I am not surprised by sin, Lord knows I have enough of my own.  I am not calling for a return to a cruelty to the homosexual, or a failure to love.  I am calling for a sense of urgency not simply about our faith as Christians, but for the survival of our nation as a new tyranny grows.  We must resist this, we must become politically engaged, and we must not stand on the sidelines as if this doesn't matter. Those of you who only want to preach the Gospel gently to your neighbors, and live a life of love, why don't you care about your country?  Do you think the immorality of unbelievers has nothing to do with you, that you and  your children will escape the inevitable squeeze of relativism and the end of your freedom of conscience?  I suppose one shouldn't lose his head over power that sins; someone tell that to John the Baptist .
     I actually read American Christians who say it doesn't matter what happens to America.  Really?  What lazy, apathetic, pie in the sky escapism is that?  What terrible theology to not take life seriously, to not care about the injustice immorality always begets.  America's government is "of the people" so therefore it is us, and we will get what we stand and fight for or it will be taken by others whose vision for America's future is far different from the one for which we had hoped. In case you haven't noticed the other side is fighting for what they believe in.  And yes I think America is important, not because it is the new Israel, or the Kingdom of God, but simply because it is where we live, where I raised my children, where I hope my grandchildren can grow and experience one of the greatest nations the world has seen, that in the midst of its bloody struggle to be great is having its foundations dismantled, and what will we do then, and what turmoil will there be for the world as a result?

    

WHAT KINDA MAN YOU GONNA TURN OUT TO BE?

There are good men, and I want the ladies to know that.  There are good men who fail, but they're still good men.  I want the ladies to know that too.  Then there are men who should be better than they are, who seem full of potential and never seem to reach it or live up to anyone's expectations, including their own.  These men seem to constantly disappoint.  Then there are "worthless fellows," and these are bad men.  They hurt other people, and they enjoy it and encourage their friends in the pursuit of doing stupid things.  Then of course, there are just evil men; they wreak of evil, and violence, and crime. I would like the ladies to know the difference in all these types of men, and I would like the men to know themselves.

     What is important to realize is that each of these groups of men have varying degrees of intelligence.  They are not necessarily what they are because they are smart or stupid.  Men are not simply what they are because they are educated, or not.  Men are not what they are because they have wealth, or poverty.  In theology we speak of a couple of things that seem almost to be in contradiction.  We speak of depravity and all men possess this, yet, all men are image bearers of God.  All men come from some genetic background, some family background (whether stable, nuclear, broken, or destroyed) and it affects them, but not all in the same way.  How can men be both depraved and beautiful, gifted, yet without making any meaningful contribution?  This is the frustration of real life on a fallen planet.

    We need good men, and I'm not speaking for the Marines but for the world.  It is said, "clothes make the man" and of course they do not, but they do present a package.  Some men look for a package that sells, to themselves and to those they wish to impress.  There are men who develop a style of behaving, this too is packaging.  Put a depraved evil man in a uniform, make him a professional, and he is still a depraved evil man.  Here I speak not for the common depravity which cripples humans from knowing God, but that which defines character.  Many people are deceived by packaging, even those in the package.  If all you have is the clothes, and the style, but no substance well then the emperor truly has no clothes; if you follow my logical thread.

    One of the ironies of life is the story of grace and redemption.  It is ironic that a wicked man, full of evil, can be converted, transformed, and become a good man for the rest of his life.  Some don't believe this is possible but Christians live in the story and expectation of it all the time.  This has happened far too often in history for it to an unrealistic hope.  Truly horrible deeply flawed men have been "saved" and become great men, fathers, husbands, brothers, heroes, and dependable.  All men are inconsistent, but better to fail at being a failure and turn one's life around in a positive direction than otherwise.

    In elementary school they used to give out a report card and one of the evaluations was "fails to live up to his/her potential."  Satisfactory, Unsatisfactory, Non-satisfactory.  I remember being mad that my teacher failed to live up to my expectations by giving me a U one marking period in this category.  I wasn't sure what it meant but I knew it was negative.   I think I was eventually pleased to realize she thought I had potential.  How frustrating it must be for parents, women seeking decent husbands, children wishing they had a real and present father to have respectively a son, potential marriage partner, or progenitor who never quite makes the grade.  Some men will live their lives always to disappoint.

    We need good men, and I do speak for the parents, for the women, and for the children.  Starting from wherever they are, they need to up their game.  We need men who will stop pretending just to get the sex, the emotional support, the job, or ego stroking.  We need men who will stop living their lives to get over, or to be just enough and nothing more.  We don't necessarily call on men to be brilliant, talented, wealthy, good looking, well educated, and well dressed (though no one would complain about great icing on the cake).  We do call on men to be good, and to be great at it.  To have the character and fortitude to stand up for what is right and good, to not abandon a family, to not abuse or harm the weak.  We live in a world that confuses the packaging for what is in the box, the icing for what is in the cake, and surface for substance.  

   We don't get movies, television shows, or too much coverage of a man who (though not perfect), worked hard, plodded along, stood his ground not for ego or pride, picked himself back up when he fell, loved his wife, family, and friends, cared for the helpless and weak, and delivered himself a man when a man was needed.  Sometimes we think evil men should just be killed off, maybe sometimes they must, but we hope for  those radical conversions yet.  Sometimes we wish those men not living up to their potential would get a firm kick up the backside, because these are the men who frustrate us all.

   We also need women who will forgive, who will give us the break they want and need for themselves, who will have the sense to discern between momentary disappointments and a total disappointment.  It is manifestly true that in a world of corruption we need character, and we need grace to not only realize God's love for all of us with imperfect character, but grace to empower us to grow in godly character.  We, all of us, need good men.

Father's Day

   One part of my life for which I am tremendously grateful was given to me by God, my wife, and my children.  They are the ones who made me a father.  I am so glad I had the chance, the opportunity to be a Dad.  It was a precarious situation since I came to it with such poor preparation and equipment, meaning my own personality and sinfulness. So I am thankful to them, and most of all to the Lord God, who not only made me productive but gave me grace to serve as a father.
    I am thankful even to my own earthly father who abandoned me as a young child because he gave me the resolve never to leave.  I realized as the years went by how easy that would be, to leave and to give up.  There were certainly moments of lust and adulterous thoughts that could easily have led me to other women and the destruction of my marriage.  Much of my tenacity in staying was simply being loved by a great woman, the attraction she continues to hold for me in her own personal beauty, and her patience and forgiveness in putting up with my failures.
    My pride, my ability to fall into self-pity, my ability to be resentful and to hold a grudge, these were big threats to my faithfulness.  It was the grace of God that led me out of the labyrinth of those dark moments, usually after some argument or conflict.  Repentance, humility, the plea for mercy were the steps to reconciliation.  For me these things weren't easy, they were impossible, without the grace of God and the love of my wife.
    It was in the context of holding on to my marriage that gave me the place to be a Dad.  I didn't have to love my children on the week-ends, I didn't have to pay someone else child support, I didn't have to suffer being bashed by my spouse to my children.  She supported my role, my authority, and voice, my decisions, my discipline, and my love.  We were able to keep restraint on the other's temper, the other's laxity and permissiveness.  We kept each other from killing the children.
    Though my fear is that through my failures I have in part ruined them.  Certainly these wonderful children God gave me, one through adoption and the other three through natural birth, have seen some of my sin, some of my spiritual failure.  They have experienced my harshness and fierce anger, my bellowing menace.  They have suffered from my absence and neglect.  They have not enjoyed as much patience, tenderness, gentle instruction, affectionate encouragement and positive reinforcement as they needed and deserved.  I am amazed that they turned out so well.
    I knew always that they needed more than me.  If God was not their Heavenly Father they would not and could not have what they needed to face life, to endure hardship, to deal with their fallen-ness, their own depravity.  They would not have the One they needed to fall back on when even their earthly parents failed them, as we surely have, and do.
    As a pastor, as an Army Chaplain, I stole from them to give to others.  I was not always there, I missed games, birthdays, celebrations, important and historic events.  I made them go without because I chose to live a lifestyle, accept a salary, to do a ministry that deprived them of certain material things.  I made them sacrifice with me, I made them live my values.  I am honored that I have never heard them damn me for it, I am proud that they seem to have lived their lives unashamed of me or my calling.  I am so incredibly grateful for their love.
    I rejoice in the memories of every hug and falling asleep on my chest moment when they were babes.  I still am thrilled as I remember their jogging with me, climbing a mountain with me, wrestling with me, laying on my back as I did push-ups.  The moments when my grown daughter lies her head on my shoulder when we sit next to each other are exquisite.  To hear them laugh, have a sense of humor, to be insightful, discerning, critical and even sarcastic at political hypocrisy and pretense makes me admire them.  For them to be sincere in their faith, in their prayers, in their love for God and their passion to see the church be what God calls it be makes me not only proud, but impressed with them as saints.  I am thrilled to have my family for a posse of people committed to justice.
   I hope and I pray that I have not damaged them too badly, that they will not repeat my failures, that my modeling of parenting would make them want to be better than me. In their adult years  I don't want to fail them as their friend, the giver of sage advice, the listener, someone who can make their heart relieved and proud when the see the smile of approval on my face, or a look of forgiveness if they need it.  I hope I will succeed as a grandfather to their children. 
    So as we come to Father's Day, let me be the one to say thank you to my children.  You gave me a chance to be something great, to hold in my arms something of the future, and great potential for the world.  You gave and give me joy, and whether you are near or far in place, you are never far from mind and heart.  You have helped define me and give me meaning, and if you ever do anything great (and I expect that you will), or even just pretty good, then all glory to God!

THE PASTOR AND HIS MONEY

   So who do you get mad at when you don't have enough?  Do you get mad at God, the Elders, the congregation, your wife, or do you blame yourself?  Being a pastor, or a person in ministry, puts one in a peculiar position when it comes to needing more money or an increase in salary or pay.

    Money, the need and desire for it, does lots of strange things to people. When we are lacking in resources we can become afraid, fall into worry, and that anxiety can easily spill into self-pity or anger.  It is one thing to be a layperson who is frustrated with his or her boss due to lack of adequate income, but what do you do when the people of  God are those who are supposed to pay your salary?  

    Pastors and ministry leaders often take confusing (sometimes just bad) approaches to this problem, and if you are blessed and have a comfortable income then maybe you will have no appreciation for this issue.  Take heed that someday your real character traits might be revealed if and when you fall into financial stress.  Here are some tips:

1.  The way you think about money, spend, give or withhold generosity, go into debt, or complain are not symptoms of your wealth but of your spirituality (or lack thereof). 

2.  Resources come from God, not people, and as soon as you forget that you are in trouble.

3.  Anger, self-pity, or blame shifting due to financial problems are  not signs of faith.

4.  "Poor mouthing" to the congregation about your financial problems from the pulpit is manipulation and not a sign of integrity. A preacher has the power to use the pulpit to get members to give him private gifts, over and above his agreed compensation, and this is shameful.  

5.  It is necessary and right to clearly communicate to those who decide on your income about your financial situation, and your need for more compensation, if that should be the case.  How you communicate your needs will tell them much about the condition of your heart and will either increase their loyalty or drive them away.

6.  You have to decide if you are a "hireling" or an "owner" of the ministry to which God has called you.  If you are simply an employee you will think like one, grieve when not rewarded adequately, complain, blame the church, and eventually forfeit your right to lead them.

7.  You are expected to call the people to discipleship in their giving, but you must practice what you preach and lead by example.  If you call for faithfulness, sacrifice, or tithing you had better be doing it too.

8.  It is good and necessary to develop relationships with the wealthy members of your church, as with everyone.  Relating to the wealthy means you can "command" them to be rich in good deeds, as  you should.  If they seek to help you personally that is a blessing, as long as it is legal before government and without compromise of the ministry of the Word.  If you direct their primary giving to yourself and not the ministry you are being unethical.  Don't be guilty of hiding income from the government.

9.  If you are married and have a family your family has to share in your faith, and not drive you to fear or anger because you can't meet their demands.  Your qualification for leadership is revealed in the way you lead your family.  If you do not have the faith or the ability to live under the terms of the "call" you received don't accept it.  

10.  Don't translate your frustration with finances due to your consumer needs (including paying for Christian Education), falling into debt, unforeseen vehicle, medical, or other needs as a lack of God's love or a lack of care by the congregation.  Stop comparing yourself with the wealthiest members of the church and start comparing yourself with the poorest.  If God takes care of sparrows he will take care of you, trust him!

11.  No two congregations are the same so be very careful about salary comparison. Envy is not a good motive to jack up your salary.  If you think the primary financial mission of the congregation is to keep you in a comfortable lifestyle you have obviously missed what the church is supposed to be about.  Your quality of life goals: the size and beauty of your house, year, make, model and number of your cars, private education for your kids, graduate studies for yourself, etc.  are not the responsibility of your church.  They are perks, blessings, things to save and strive for, but not leverage for you to demand more income.

12.  You are worthy of your hire and the congregation should strive to adequately take care of you and your family, but you must measure the pressure you put on them with the understanding that believers should not give to God out of necessity or compulsion, but with cheerfulness. Part of their cheerfulness will come from seeing how gracious and loving you are, especially when you are stressed about money.