I have been watching the unfolding
Evangelical internecine squabble, the civil war of social/theological embarrassment. I have been listening to the racial/cultural
commentary of the “woke,’ the sometimes arrogant, condescending, and despising
rhetoric from those seeking distance from the uncool part of Jesus
followers. I too have been embarrassed
by my so-called brethren excusing racial, sexual, and materialistic misbehavior
in the name of political moral achievement.
I was glad for the Christmas break, as people seemed to take some time off
from bashing each other, separating, excluding, mocking, or excusing.
I am looking for a cooler tribe. I am seeking authentic, true, and reliable
branding; at least until hypocrisy appears in my new self-identified
group. In the end I suppose I shall have
to run away from myself, sin just seems to keep showing up in this lonely group
of one known as me.
Some of the old songs give me tags, though
we have the ability to make hash out of them.
“Lord I want to be a Christian in my heart,” and “I have decided to
follow Jesus!” “I’m gonna treat
everybody right!” Right.
Well, how can I tell you that I believe in
Jesus, which means I believe the Bible to be true, but I am educated and
intelligent (self-assessment confessed) and
really like science, and I really want to follow Jesus by loving people, and
think he wants me to pursue justice, and mercy, and love? Part of following Jesus means (for me) to not
practice being a racist, and I see that as a very human condition of
ethno-centrism but gets aggravated and complicated when we have power and
privilege. Following Jesus means for me
to actually hate evil, which puts me in conflict with those who think love
means having no boundaries, standards, or penalties, but only tolerance except
for those who think God draws lines. I
mean, doesn’t he somewhere, eventually?
Following Jesus for me means that I believe
that the God of the Bible is big, Sovereign, King, Lord, boss, planner and
disposer and as such I call myself Reformed and think that God can use even
delusional, paranoid, and narcissistic presidents for his own purposes but has
the ability to make kings eat grass and be diseased in their legs when they
take to themselves the idea that they are a god.
So, I’m not afraid, but I’m also a
pragmatic American and a believer that the controlling God of destiny looks for
someone to stand in the gap and make a difference. So, I’m an activist and want to struggle and
fight for life, righteousness and social righteousness in the practice of
equitable justice, and peace.
I want to live my life as if the future
depends on how I live it, but with enough equanimity and humility so I can
enjoy my life built on the assurance that God will work things out no matter if
I fail, or others fail me, or you, or all of us. I also would like to be patient, not think so
much of myself and be kind – at least on a personal level. I keep wishing others were teachable, so I
suppose I need to have that for myself.
I suppose all of us have relatives that don’t
know how to dress, or even if dressed we can’t take them anywhere because they
don’t know how to act. It is so much fun
to despise them. I am struggling with
just how much distance I can put between myself and them before one of us loses
the family name. I suppose I can always
change the name, it is just the genetics I’m stuck with, and no matter my superiority
to ugly relatives someone unrelated is still sure to claim there is a family
resemblance. I just wish we all looked a
lot more like Jesus.
END.
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