“I want to be famous,” he told me. Now this was in a prayer session, and he
obviously saw it as a struggle, but nevertheless it was a vivid and naked
confession and I think it is right on target for many young men in ministry.
How many times have I sung the hymn, “Father
I Know That All My Life” and in it is the phrase, “content to fill a little
space if Thou be glorified?” I sing it
with conviction and passion because that is not a normal part of my desire. I think I was actually saying, “Lord, I want
this to be true of me but I don’t think I am content to fill a little space.” I wanted to be famous too.
I have a firm theological conviction that our
mission is to make Jesus famous, not ourselves.
Yet, as with many pastors and church planters, my conviction is not always
as the same or consistent with my emotion, personality, and nature. We struggle with ambition, with ego, with
competition. Our identity is tied up
with our reputation, with whether or not anybody knows our name, and how we
compare with our peers in being given opportunity, or even respect. I believe in humility, and yearn to have
others mention me as an example of it, just as long as I am mentioned.
Recently, in a workshop taught by Mark
Reynolds of City to City, he quoted from a book on leadership a fascinating
phrase, “the suffering of obscurity.” It
just rang out to me as a common problem among striving church planters and
pastors. It really does feel like suffering,
as envy often does, and isolation, and loneliness. This led me to think and ponder on the
reality of the struggle of ambitious young men in the ministry.
As someone who has been involved in cross
cultural ministry and has sought to recruit and encourage minorities coming into
my denomination I have seen how this very issue of significance play a role in
the attitude men have about their place, or lack of place, in the PCA. The Presbyterian Church in America is a great
leveler when it comes to fame and significance in the ministry. It is not an easy place to “make your bones”
or a name for yourself.
Sometimes I get the impression from some of
these young men that the secret to being significant is to know the right
people, to have someone open doors, and if one does know the right people than
success comes a lot sooner than otherwise.
There are always men who seem to demand to be let in, to positions of
influence, to places on the dais, or committees, or speaking opportunities. Of course the reality is that any man
ordained in the PCA is already a fairly successful and significant person. One has to have finished college, graduate
school, taken arduous theological exams, and be hired by some ministry. On the other hand, these men are a dime a
dozen, and the PCA is one place where no one thinks that any other Teaching
Elder is that important, or more important than others, unless he has earned
it.
That is another question, how does one earn
importance? Usually the common and
mundane answer to that is from successful experience, from building a church or
a ministry. Some think it is through
academics, another degree, maybe writing a book. Actually for a young man to write a book that
anyone believes is important means they really would be exceptional, like
Calvin. Books are always being written,
and most are forgettable. Some men think
the way to importance is in the courts of the Church, to fight battles over
governance and the Book of Church Order.
This notoriety is usually seasonal, say at General Assembly, and such
notoriety makes some more infamous than famous.
Why doesn’t anyone else recognize me as an
expert? Our role as preachers give us a
certain sense of authority, and we begin to expect our opinions should be taken
as profound, yet we keep not being invited to preach at the big churches, at
the big conferences, and we keep not being quoted. How many years does it take to get some
traction? What is the architecture of
significance? Some despise our company
because they will never be famous here, so they jump to other Evangelical camps
where the cult of celebrity and charisma is common and strong.
I agree, reputation and significance comes faster
in other places. Presbyterianism seems
to be as fast changing as the movement of glaciers while young men see
themselves as agents of change, movement, and creativity. I have watched men grow old griping about how
no one pays attention to them and I am saddened for their bitterness and
disappointment. I don’t want to be one
of them.
What is the good word about all this? Just a few thoughts and it starts with this,
if we don’t find our significance in the blood and righteousness of Christ we
are looking in the wrong places. If we
don’t seek the glory of Jesus more than our own than we are glory thieves,
idol worshipers, and ingrates. If we
don’t find our identity in being a son of God, seated with Christ in heavenly
places, and a joint-heir with Christ we are settling for cheap change.
At the same time if we don’t recognize the
natural and innate need of young men to feel like they are making a difference,
that they are making an essential contribution, then we are mistreating them. We are wasting precious resource, energy and
fruit. If we continue to frustrate them
by not being their advocates, champions, mentors, and cheerleaders than we are failing
not only to serve them well, but failing the future of the church. Every pastor needs to open doors for young
men, to praise them, to give them space and a place to make a
contribution. We need to challenge them,
but we also need to hear their voices, and ask them to meetings even before somebody
elects them to such.
One last word, the best way to feel
important in this denomination is to have friends. Presbytery won’t give it to you, General
Assembly won’t give it to you, even if you enjoy them. You need friends, who love you, who are
loyal, with whom you hang out, go on vacation, and call you up. You need an older man in your life who
believes in you, and I confess sometimes we don’t get that from the Ruling
Elders who make up our Sessions.
Would it not be wonderful if we all could
fill little spaces and be satisfied, if we were being faithful to Jesus in that
place? It will take much spiritual work
in our hearts before that restlessness is settled, so may the Lord convince you
that he loves you, and may he convince you that in the end, that is more than
enough!
END.
